In case you weren't already troubled by the fact that your gaming console watches you play/move/sleep, Microsoft is now working on a patent for a mechanism that would allow the Kinect to detect users' age and regulate content accordingly. The device would mathematically determine whether the people in front of it are adults or children based on their proportions. In order to unlock adult content, i.e. play an M-rated game or watch an R-rated movie, you'd need to have adult proportions. The software for this kind of distinction could potentially make parental controls on entertainment far more effective. 

The feature seems like it would be most helpful for those folks who use their Xboxes for pretty much all their entertainment needs--gaming and movies, most notably--and who also have households with multiple children. Not only would it prevent kids from selecting adult content, it would actually stop displaying adult content as soon as a kid walks into the room. Let's say you're home on a Thursday night relaxing to this year's gore-fest on Netflix and your insomniac 6-year-old ambles into the living room. Upon viewing the little explorer, the Kinect would automatically switch over to something less nightmare-inducing, like Planet Earth or maybe just a blank screen. Emotional trauma avoided; all ends well. The patent would also cover technology smart enough to distinguish a 6-year-old from a 12-year-old and a 12-year-old from a fully grown adult, all by computing average body proportions. It might not be accurate to the day, but it would do a pretty good job of guessing your age. 

Of course, the technology seems to be coming from a pretty ableist perspective. Not everyone in the world has "normal" proportions. Those with disabilities who fall outside of the typical body ratio ranges probably wouldn't get to enjoy the technology to its fullest extent; it might consistently mis-guess their age or just become confused and refuse to work altogether. So it's not for everyone, but that's been true of human-recognizing technology since its existence (remember that time when face-recognition could only pick up light-skinned faces?). 

Still, the patent's software could be a neat option for families with Kinects who want to reduce their risk of panicked controller-mashing when a stray juvenile wanders in. It might creep out the robot-fearers, but it does seem to be a better use of the device's mathematical capabilities than running a game that awards points based on how accurately you flail along to a Michael Jackson song.